


You Aren't the One Lying

by SadieAndor



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Made-Up Force Powers, Mission Fic, Sort Of, Undercover as Married, not a slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2019-10-21 08:47:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17639591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieAndor/pseuds/SadieAndor
Summary: It's almost a year after Scarif, and Jyn and Cassian are finally figuring out what's between them. Things aren't easy, but as they sort themselves out, things are good.This mission was supposed to be a break - no shooting, no killing, but the Empire has a new weapon: A race of creatures the galaxy's never heard of with a force power no one ever imagined. And it's threatening to wrench Jyn and Cassian apart.





	1. Untangle How I Feel

It’s been a long few days. Jyn beside him is reading a holonovel, but Cassian can only stare into the blue of hyperspace, eyes glazing over. He’s exhausted, and the visual white noise, combined with the hum of the ship, threaten to lull him to sleep. He should get up, go back to have a nap. That seems like too much work, though, and he’s enjoying Jyn’s quiet company.

The way she’s turned in the seat, he can see her in profile when he turns to look. Her nose is scrunched in thought, eyes moving along the page, and  _ kriff, _ she’s adorable.

Their run to Kamino, which had been so promising, yielded nothing of real use beyond a couple dozen bacta patches. On the other hand, the threats they’d been worried about hadn’t showed up, allowing them a mostly-peaceful, if tense, day.

“You should get to bed, Cass,” Jyn says, startling him. Her eyes are still trained down, not turning toward him. “I know you didn’t sleep on Kamino.”

“Yeah.” He rubs his face, trying to wake himself from his stupor enough to stand. “I should.” He leans forward in his seat, staying there for a moment, before he stands, groaning at the stiffness and cracking in his back. He leans down toward Jyn, unthinking, and then freezes. He pats her shoulder awkwardly, disguising his momentary slip as best he can.

“G’night,” he says, turning away, praying she can’t see his face burning. What was wrong with him? So much for legendary self control, when he’d almost just kissed her goodnight. He must be more tired than he realized, if it’s messing with his brain like this.

“Goodnight, Cassian,” She says to his back as he walks back into the cargo hold, to the only bunk on the ship. It’s a relief to lie down after taking off his boots and jacket for the first time in days, and despite the fact that he’s internally freaking out -  _ he almost kissed Jyn _ \-  his exhaustion wins out and he falls asleep almost immediately, blissfully dreamless.

He wakes up to Jyn’s quiet footsteps (he wasn’t always a light sleeper, but it’s a necessity in this life), after what he thinks was about three hours, to his best guess. She’s shifting her weight from foot to foot, and he’s rarely seen her nervous.

“Is it… Would it be ok if I join you? Just - I’m getting tired, and Kay’s done charging.”

He pulls back the covers, wordless, and scoots toward the wall to make room. She climbs in beside him, turning to face the rest of his ship, and he’s left to stare at the back of her head. He doubts he’ll sleep like this, so close to her, but it’s not so bad.

He expects her to fall asleep immediately, but that’s not happening. Listening to her breathing, which barely slows, and watching her taut muscles, he knows she’s tense, even more so than usual, but he can’t for the life of him figure out why. She rolls over after several minutes that feel like hours to face him he sees conflict in her face, but he can’t think why..

“Is something wrong?” he says softly. He wants to reach out, to touch her, but he doesn’t know how he could.

Jyn closes her eyes, takes a long, deep breath, and visibly comes to a decision.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she whispers, and it hits him in the chest. Has he done something wrong? Does she want a new partner?

“What? What’s -” 

“I’m in love with you,” she says, completely calm, the words floating between them. She’s looking at him, looking for a response, but all he can do is blink. That… doesn’t make sense. His brain is whirling, and he stares, uncomprehending.

“I beg your pardon?”

She colours, but repeats it, and he might have heard her right.

“I said I’m in love with you,” she says, but it’s more hesitant this time, but he still catches it, and no, he heard her right the first time. But that doesn’t compute. She, Jyn Erso, the most perfect woman in this galaxy, couldn’t feel anything toward  _ him _ . It isn’t logical.

“Oh,” is his genius reply.  _ Eloquent, Andor. _

He sees her face fall, sees her guards going back up, and realizes his mistake. She leaving, and that’s not right, because she thinks he isn’t absolutely crazy about her.

“Jyn-” he says, as she pushes the covers off herself and swings her legs around.

“It’s ok.” She scrambles out of the bunk, already moving away. “I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry, just forget I said anything, it doesn’t matter, I just…”

And she’s hiding tears, he can hear it in her voice. She’s kriffing  _ crying, _ because he can’t formulate a response. He follows her out of bed, standing and crossing the room in a stride

“No, Jyn, that’s not fair - I mean, I’m not…” He growls in frustration at his own inability to express himself. He takes her wrist, and while she doesn’t turn toward him, she doesn’t wrench free, either.

“Look at me,” he whispers. She ignores him. “Please?”

She does, and he can see immediately how much she’s hiding, forcing back tears and sheltering herself behind a stony-faced mask. He makes the conscious decision to let her defenses fall. Letting her see everything.

“Jyn Erso, I love you. I love you more than anything in this entire galaxy. Got that?”

Her eyes widen at that, and she freezes.

“But you…”

“But I’m an idiot, so what else is new. But I love you, ok?”

“You really mean that?” She looks right into his eyes, and now is  _ not  _ the time to get lost in the golden flecks in hers.

“Absolutely.”

Pulling her closer, he wraps his arms tightly around her. She goes willingly, leaning into his chest and hugging him back. Her shoulders shake, just enough to tell that she’s crying. The remain there, like that, for a long moment.

“Can…” Cassian says after a moment, “Can I kiss you?”

“Please,” she breathes, and then her fingers are in her hair, and she’s tilting her face up toward his. Moving one hand to cup her cheek, he leans down and brushes his mouth against hers. It can barely be called a kiss, but it sends a shock wave through him.

“Cassian,” she says, and then she’s pressed up against him, kissing him properly. It’s perfect.  _ This _ , this is what he’s been dreaming of for months, and kriff she’s perfect.

“ _ Jyn, _ ” he murmurs in the slight space between them. They pull apart when breathing becomes a necessity, touching foreheads.“That was…”

“Yeah.” She presses closer again, arms still around him. They sway slightly in place, holding tight to each other. “How long?” She asks eventually.

“Um… Jedha?”

“ _ Jedha? _ ”

“Jedha was when I started feeling things towards you. I realized I loved you around the Mygeeto mission.”

“So, about the same time I did. Stars, why did we take so long?”

“Just stubborn, I guess.”

“Mm.” She yawns, reminding Cassian of the time and circumstance.

“Let’s get you to bed. We both need to sleep.” He kisses her hair, because  _ he can, he’s allowed! _

“You’ll stay?”

“Unless you don’t want me to. There’s nowhere I’d rather be”.

He steals just one more kiss before he pulls her back to the bunk, where they both lie down. She curls up in his arms, cuddling close against his chest.

“I love you,” Jyn says, like she can’t quite believe she’s allowed to. Cassian smiles.

“Best night ever,” he says. Jyn smiles back.

They’re both asleep in minutes.


	2. A Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some context:  
> Chirrut, Baze and Bodhi survived. They might not get much mention in this story, but THEY LIVED.
> 
> K-2's body was destroyed, but he was brought back from a back-up. He lost any memory of Scarif, but he's still K. Cassian is looking for a new KX model to put him in, for now he is in a protocol droid, about a meter tall.
> 
>  
> 
> ....

It’s a month before they’re sent on another mission together, but this time will be a long-term undercover. Not deep undercover, but they’ll be on Coruscant, the literal heart of the Empire.

“The openings are for a security guard and a bartender,” Leia said, when they’d done their first briefing, “I assume you to are comfortable with that. You’re a newly married couple, Cyan and Maris Justress. You’re saving for a house on a mid-rim planet, and you are entirely unremarkable.”

The mission seems to be made for the two of them. No one says it, but Cassian’s pretty sure it’s Princess Leia’s attempt at giving them a break. He’d been confused, certainly, when Jyn plunked her food down beside him a week ago and said they were needed in command after supper. Most missions went to him; he was technically higher ranking.

He was even more confused during the briefing. It was Mon Mothma and the princess who briefed them, not Draven, and the aliases presented to them had almost no background. When he brought that up, Leia grinned.

“That’s exactly the point. This should be several months undercover, and so General Draven agreed that it might be easier for you if you were able to fill these characters with part of yourselves,”

Jyn beside him looked pleased with this. She did hate playing the parts she was almost always given, as an Imperial officer, or a rich man’s trophy wife. Cassia, though - he wasn’t used to having nowhere to start from.

“Figure out your backgrounds, and then we can make up your docs. You leave next week.”

As they left the room, Jyn caught and squeezed his hand.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,”

“C’mon, Cass, don’t lie to me. This should be great news. You, me and Kay, hopefully no one shooting at us, what’s wrong?”

“I guess I’m not used to having  _ carte blanche _ with aliases like this. I get the framework, the past, and I go from there.”

“This’ll be fine. We’ll make it work, I promise.”

“Yeah.”

It was how they ended up sitting across from each other on the bunk in Jyn’s darkened quarters, cross-legged with both datapads displaying between them, one alias on each

“You could keep your accent this time,” Jyn says, “Downplay it a little bit, but mostly let it through. No one says we have to have the same accent.”

“Yes, but if we’re from different planets, we have to have some story for how we met.”

“We can do that,”

“Ok, then, how?”

By the beginning of the next shift, Cassian’s mostly comfortable with the idea. With both aliases almost fully fleshed out, the whole thing seems less daunting. It will be the least undercover he’s ever been on a mission - Cyan Justress is almost completely Cassian Andor, or at least a less traumatised, less flawed Cassian Andor. 

Now they sit in the cockpit of a ship that thoroughly confuses Cassian. It’s far from the fighters and transports he uses on a regular basis, yes, but it’s no pleasure vessel, either. It’s just banged up enough to endear itself to him, cramped but livable. Behind the cockpit beside the normal, if slightly smaller, cargo hold, the main hold includes a kitchen nicer than any he’s ever seen on a ship and a cozy sitting area. There’s a queen sized bed that folds down into the center. This will be the Justresses’ home on Coruscant. Chloee Torall’s squadron bought it off a retiring Imperial couple specifically for this mission.

Even the cockpit is strange to him - instead of the individual seats for pilot, co-pilot and passengers, the two of them sit on a padded bench in front of the consoles, with another behind them. Kay has powered himself down just inside the cockpit door, and it’s quiet, the blue of hyperspace creating a cozy atmosphere.

“You remember we’re newlyweds,” he says, no louder than necessary. 

“Yeah,”

“So we have to be completely fixated on each other. You can do that?”

Jyn rolls her eyes at him, and then scoots closer to him on the bench.

“Yes, Cassian. I have been undercover before, remember.”

“I know, but this is different. I just want to make sure that you fully understand.”

“I understand. Have a little faith in me, please. Besides, I’m already fixated on you. Maris won’t have to do too much acting.” She crawls into his lap. “I’m  _ very _ fixated on you, Cyan, darling.”  

Cassian chuckles. “Of course, Maris, love.” He kisses the crown of her head, playful, before his voice goes serious. “You remember, though. However Cyan might have to act, in general and toward Maris, I love you. Ok? Cassian loves Jyn.”

“Getting all sentimental on me, Andor?”

“Maybe.”

“Hmm...I guess that’s ok. Don’t worry, Jyn loves Cassian, too.”

He presses his mouth to hers as she shifts closer to him. It’s been too long since they had any time alone, only the two of them, and Cassian intends to take full advantage. 

“You know, we have the whole ship to ourselves... “ Jyn mumbles as they share a breath.

“We do,” he agrees.

“No, you don’t.” 

They both jump at K-2’s voice behind them. 

“Fantastic timing, Kay,” Cassian groans.

“Apparently, since you seem to have forgotten about me in the face of your… mating.”

“We did forget about you,” Jyn agrees, “It was great. No obnoxious Imperial droids around - oh wait.”

One thing about the unit K2 is in - its eyes can narrow, as they do now.

“My current state is irrelevant to the situation.”

“True. You’re still obnoxious.”

“Please remind me why we keep her?” K says.

“Because you couldn’t live without me.” She kisses Cassian again, and he’s not about to protest, even if she’s only trying to spite K2. 

“You betray me, Cassian!” he exclaims in the dramatic tone that Cassian swears he never had before they met Jyn. She ignores him, and Cassian’s not complaining as she runs her fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp, and runs her tongue over his bottom lip.

“If you would separate from Jyn Erso for a moment, Cassian, we need to discuss the location of the bar.”

“Ugh, fine…” Jyn says, pulling away, unfairly put together while she leaves him gasping. “What about it?”

After a moment to catch his breath, Cassian eases Jyn off his lap. “He’s right. We need to make sure we’re on the same page here. Go on, Kay.”

“Thank you _. _ Now, the establishment is called  _ La Mer Résistante.   _ It is unremarkable but respectable, approximately 90 kilometers from the Imperial palace.”

“Ew, too close,” Jyn says, “What level?”

“Five from the surface.”

“Pretty good placement,” Cassian says, “High enough to get plenty of mid-ranking officers, unlikely to have problems with drug trafficking and violence, low enough that no one will look twice at a sidearm.”

“Spoken like a security guard. Trust me, bartending an operation like that is painful.”

The console emits a tone to announce their arrival out of hyperspace, and the ship jerks as Coruscant appears in front of them.

“Welcome to the heart of Imperial territory.”

Jyn sighs. “I never wanted to come back here.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nothing really happened in this chapter, but I promise things will happen eventually.


	3. The Corans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally another chapter. I swear the plot will arrive eventually!

The way down to the Covono Hangar is full of sharp turns, narrow passages and almost-too-small gaps between buildings, but Jyn knows Cassian’s more than capable of maneuvering them through it.

“This is an inconvenient entry point,” K says, “and must discourage visitors. Why does anyone use a hangar like this?” 

“It’s more a cheap place to live than anything else,” Cassian says, “There’s fresh water and battery stations, so the idea is you park your ship and live there for a while.”

Kay makes a metallic sniffing noise. “It’s a lot of trouble and money for a glorified parking spot.”

A jerk to the left and sudden drop later, they enter the hangar. It’s… nicer than Jyn expected. Sure, all the ships are all a little banged-up, but there’s at least ten meters between each ship, and a few tiny trees growing in steel boxes every few spots. 

Cassian sets them down smoothly in a spot in a corner (several escape routes, no one on three sides of them, Jyn notes). They check in with a droid at the office in the middle, and that’s it.

“Our first shifts aren’t until tomorrow,” Cassian says, “but the Corans expect us for supper tonight. Shall we go?”

“Does that invitation extend to me?” K asks.

“No,” Jyn says immediately, instinctively, then looks to Cassian.

“They didn’t specify, so I’m assuming no,” he says, and she makes a face at K. He walks back up the ramp to the ship, complaining, “I’ll just stay here, then, all alone, while you go off without me…” 

“Exactly,” Jyn mutters as he disappears, and Cassian chuckles as he wraps an arm loosely around her waist.

“C’mon. We should get going.” He lowers his voice. “You remember the code?”

“Unless we are discussing it with other people, anything from the re- our organisation is  _ from Rook, _ any threat from the other side is  _ from Hux..” _

“That’s right. I think, Maris, that we are ready to go.”

It’s just past 1700 hours, local time, when they get outside. It isn’t full rush hour, but the foot traffic is heavy as they make their way along the streets. Cassian takes her hand, and the pragmatic part of her tells the other part, the one that brings her heart rate to pick up, to shut up - it’s only to keep from being seperated, she’s sure.

“Guesses on what these people are actually like?” She asks.

“Not really. They had an agent from my division with them a few years ago, and Lennon Jax has been in contact with them for years, but they don’t know that. The restaurant has been in their family for about twenty years, and they have three daughters.”

“Three kids? Force.”

They walk in silence for a few moments. “Forgot to say this before,” Cassian says, “but if I ask you to kiss me, or anything like that, it’s probably for a reason, ok? For our cover.”

“Cover. Right, ok.”

It only takes to five minutes to get where they’re going.  _ La Mer Resistante,  _ with its dark blue sign and translucent awning, sits between an indoor market and a modest-looking hotel. The building itself is made from the same kind of stone as the hotel, but the walls are half windows.

“Not what I expected,” Jyn says.

“Did you expect more of a pub?”

“Yeah,”

“So did I. This is fine, though. It’s cute.”

She turns to look at him. “Cute? Did you just say  _ cute? _ ”

He looks almost offended. “What’s wrong with that?”

“ _ Cute,  _ Cass-  I mean, Cyan Justress, you are not a man I would expect to hear that word from.”

“Oh, shut up. Let’s just go in.”

A bell chimes as they walk through the door, and the girl at the counter looks up.

“How many in your party, please?” She says. She can’t be a day over seventeen, and her hair is a bright, bouncy red.

“No, actually,” Jyn says, “I’m Maris, this is my husband Cyan. We were promised jobs?”

“Oh, you’re the Justresses.” She steps through the door to the back. “Mama!”

“What?” Comes a voice from behind her.

“They’re here!”

She’s joined by a woman who is obviously her mother, with the same freckles and a hint that her pulled-back hair was once the same colour as her daughter’s before it was grey.

“Welcome! Cyan and Maris, yes?”

Cassian nods.

“Good, good, Lennon told me all about you. I’m Melodie, this is Luci, my oldest. Come into the back, please,”

Jyn leans into Cassian. “No ID?”

“Apparently not.” They follow Melodie and Luci into the kitchen, where a handful of people are yelling back and forth, cleaning the counters, floors and stove.

“Gavril, they’re here,” Melodie says.

The man at the only lit stove turns to face them. The first thing Jyn notices is his chef’s hat - it’s hard not to notice, bright green with “Galaxy’s Best Dad” written in bold letters across the front. She snickers and nudges Cassian. He nudges her back, glaring and mouthing  _ focus _ .

Gavril has an unnervingly friendly smile. He’s just slightly taller than his wife, thought they’re both shorter than Cassian.

“Welcome to the chaos!” He moves forward, as if to hug them, but stops as they both flinch away. “Don’t mind the girls, I promise they’re harmless - KIDS!”

The girl from the front desk steps half into the kitchen, and two other girls pop up from nowhere.

“What?” One of them whines, “We’re busy!”

“Girls, this is - what should they call you?”

“First names are fine. I’m Cyan, this is my wife, Maris.” Cassian says in a warm, friendly tone Jyn’s never heard him use with strangers. “What are your names?”  
The smallest girl, a blue twi'lek (Jyn will wonder about that later, now she needs to remember things), waves and says,

“I’m Aayla! I just turned eight!”

“And you?” Jyn says to the other little girl, whose eyes are trained down.

“Nadeline,” She says, in a voice just loud enough to be heard.

“Nadeline, Aayla, and Luci. Those are lovely names.” 

Cassian’s good at this. She’s seen him introduce himself to lots of different people, always differently. Fellow soldiers, shady contacts, mercenaries, Imperial aristocrats, he can charm anyone if he wants to. Including, it would appear, this boisterous couple and their three daughters. He makes polite conversation with Melodie and Gavril after the girls have left, and she thinks she does a passable job of  laughing and nodding at the right times, of pretending she isn’t tracking the Carons’ body language, listening for anything hidden between the lines.

“Now,” Melodie says eventually, “We’ve all met. We’re closed today - Zhellday is our cleaning and family day. How’s supper coming,  _ Cherie _ ?”

“It shouldn’t be longer than a half hour.”

“Good, good. Now, come, sit down.”

They follow her out of the kitchen through another door, into a small living room in the back of the building. It’s mostly neat, except for the play swords and arrows strewn across the floor. Jyn has to smile at the sight of a stuffed animal of some kind tied to a miniature wooden chair with a pink belt.

“Aayla!” Melodie calls up the stairs in the corner, “Come clean up!” Sighing, she turns back to Jyn and Cassian. “I’m sorry about the toys. I got them to tidy just this morning, but you know kids…”

Cassian smiles. “Yes, my nephew is the same way.”

Aayla pops up from behind a couch, pointing a bow and arrow “But  _ Mom… _ ” She whines, “I’ve captured Avi, and if I untie her he might get away!”

“Well, we’re going to sit here. Pick up your arrows, and I’ll make sure Avi doesn’t get away when I bring him upstairs.” She picks up the chair and carries it up the stairs as Aayla gathers her arrows and the sword on the couch. “Have a seat, I’ll be back in a moment!”

Cassian perches on the edge of the couch, and Jyn settles beside him. 

“You’ve been great so far,” he murmurs into her ear, barely audible, “but we need to keep it up, ok? I know casual conversation isn’t easy for you.”

Jyn leans into his side. “I’ll be fine. You talk more anyway.”

The stairs creak, Melodie coming back downstairs, and Cassian whispers, “Kiss me.” She does, only pulling away when Melodie returns. 

“Can I get you something to drink? Caf? Cocoa?”

“Caf would be great,” Cassian says. Melodie looks to Jyn.

“Just water, if that’s ok.”

* * *

Almost a hundred kilometers away, the southernmost wing of the second level of the Imperial palace is kept freezing cold. It’s how the Uzol ask it be kept, and the Emperor insists on keeping them happy. The officers and advisors charged with working beside them are less of a priority, so they grumble in their not-quite-warm-enough winter coats.

It’s Captain Jonall’s first day in the Uzol’s complex, and so he doesn’t what to do when the one working beside him raises their head and says,

“A reactive rebel is on the planet.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... yeah...  
> It might be a while before the next update. I should really be doing other things.
> 
> Also, I have a Tumblr as of two days ago! sadieandor.tumblr.com


	4. Almost Normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took forever, because Real Life is kicking my butt and then I got very stuck on this chapter. I'm still not quite happy with it, but at this point I'm just done with it. I hope it's ok?

“Wha-what does that mean?” Captain Jorell says.

The old Uzol only repeats itself. “A reactive rebel is on planet.”

Captain Jorell flags down the youngest of the Uzol, whose job it is to explain. “They mean that they’ve checked a reactive and found proof of active rebellion? What did you think?”

“He’s new,” Captain Alexau says. “You haven’t heard ‘reactive’ yet, I imagine?”

Jorell shakes his head.

“It’s nothing exciting. It just means someone whom their… abilities affect to the full extent. It’s like… one in a hundred and ten sentients, I think. So they can’t check all of them. They’re just looking for reactives of interest. Apparently they’ve found one.”

“Go tell the major. She’ll be pleased,” the young Uzol says.

Jorell does, and Major Afluin is indeed pleased.

“Tell the Uzol to locate this reactive. Figure out their weak spots.”

* * *

After finally excusing themselves from the Coran’s with the excuse of Jyn’s headache, it’s almost midnight when she and Cassian finally get back to the ship. K-2 is on low-power mode in the entrance, and he shuts down for the night after Cassian tells him how supper went. After he’s had his turn in the ‘fresher, Jyn changes into her sleep clothes, brushes her teeth and washes her face. He’s sitting cross-legged on the bed when he she comes out, datapad in his lap. 

Settling beside him, she kisses his temple and skims over the message on the display. The three levels of code hide most of the actual message. On the surface, it’s a cheerful letter to Cyan’s grandparents. Under the simplest code, Cassian is saying that everything is going well. The second level, she knows, includes any important details about their covers and communications. When Cassian starts meeting with contacts, the intel he gets from them will be hidden under the third level.

“Your head still hurt?” He murmurs.

“Yeah,” 

“Lie down.” He stands to put his datapad aside and turn out the lights. “Where does it hurt, love?”

“Behind my eyes.”

Leaning over her, he kisses her forehead, and each of her eyes, “Tell me if it gets any worse.” He crawls under the covers with her, letting her curl against him. “G’night.”

“Goodnight.”

 

Jyn wakes up dizzy the next morning, but by the time they leave for their first day of work around noon she’s fine, despite Cassian’s fussing. The Justresses fit seamlessly into the atmosphere of  _ La Mer Resistante,  _ or so Melodie insists. There aren’t many bar patrons for most of the afternoon, so Jyn spends half the time “helping” Gavril plate lunch specials.

Cassian follows Melodie around for the first hour, listening to her instructions on his job.

“I don’t know what her idea of a security guard is,” Cassian says, leaning over the bar when he has his instructions and nothing to do, “But it isn’t the same as mine.”

“Gavril says this is their quietest day. We should have more to do the rest of the week.”

“I sure hope so. This is… weird.” 

The bell over the door chimes, and a few young adults walk in. Cassian leans just far enough to kiss her in parting.

“There’s no one watching,” she says.

He only winks as he walks away.

It’s the first group of customers to actually require Jyn to do more than open a couple bottles. She appreciates something to do. By the time they leave, other people are coming in for supper, and the bar area stays moderately populated until closing. 

Lucie tells her to close the bar around midnight, and Melodie closes up entirely a few minutes later. There are still plenty of people in the street, and few lights are out, but it’s just the slightest bit quieter now. 

“It’s so…  _ nice _ , here.” Jyn says as she and Cassian walk back to the ship. “I know the Imperial Palace is so close, but… I don’t know. It’s kind of unnerving.  How quiet it is.”

“I agree.” He links their arms, and they continue walking. “Hey, I know this street,” He says, a minute or two later, “Come this way.”

“It’s past midnight, Cass,” 

“I know. It’ll only be a minute. C’mon.”

Jyn follows him down a side street toward a dead end. Cassian pulls her to a stop four meters short of the wall.

“Here it is.”

“What? This is exactly-” He tilts his chin up, and she follows the gesture. “Oh!”

Directly above them, the ceiling is glass, and above that, there is a gap between the buildings on every level. They’re looking straight up at the Coruscanti night sky. The pollution hides any stars, but there are ships and speeders passing above them in an array of colours.

“Amazing, isn’t it?” Cassian says.

“Yeah,”

“There’s only a handful of places like this on the entire planet.” He smiles at her before his face goes concerned. “Jyn? Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jyn says, shaking her head even as the sharp pain behind her eyes fades. “It was nothing, just a bit of a headache again. It’s gone now.”

“If you’re sure,” Cassian says. He smoothes her brow. “Tell me if it happens again.”

 

* * *

“Gotcha!” A Uzol shouts.

“What?” Major Afluin says.

“I’ve found her.”

“Good. Figure out how we can catch her, now.”

* * *

It only takes a few days to settle into a comfortable rhythm. Maris becomes a favourite with the patrons for her dry humour, and Cyan wins more than a few admirers of his own.

“Weird job,” Cassian tells Jyn a few days in. And it is. Most days, the most he does is walk someone to their speeder, call a cab, and kick out people harassing girls at the bar. On one memorable occasion, three days in, he even stops a brawl. Even these most mundane things are few and far between, so he spends the better part of each day trying not to look too grumpy and deflecting the awkward flirting of drunk girls (and boys).

“Finally something happening,” he says two weeks after they arrived, sitting on the bed with his datapad in his lap.

“Oh?” Jyn raises her head from the pillow to read over his shoulder. “When is something happening?”

“Already happened. Met a contact today,” he says, then furrows his brow at her expression. “What?”

“Today?” Jyn scowls.

“Yes…”

“Were you going to tell me about it?”

“Of course I was, I just - you’re angry.”

“You didn’t think to mention it to me? First mission-critical thing the whole time, and you didn’t think to tell me?”

“I forgot,”

“Of course you forgot. I’m part of this mission too - ah!” She winces.

“Jyn?”

“‘S nothing, I’m fine.” 

“You’re not fine. It’s your head again, isn’t it?”

“It’s gone now. But Cassian, you didn’t tell me  _ anything, _ ”

He sighs. “I know. And I’m sorry. But really, love, I’m worried about you,”

“It’s nothing. I’m fine,” she says, lying back and curling into herself. Cassian strokes her hair and she scowls, but doesn’t push his hand away. There’s concern in his expression, and she hates it.  _ She’s fine. _

“It’s not nothing. That’s eight times now since we got here, and that’s only the ones I’m aware of.”  _ Of course he would be keeping track.  _ “You haven’t dealt with this on base or anything - have you?”

Jyn shakes her head. “It’s really not that bad.”

He still doesn’t look convinced, but Cassian doesn’t say anything more in the subject. Lying down beside her, his chest to her back, he pulls the covers over them and sets the datapad aside.

“I really am sorry. I’ll tell you next time,” he whispers in the dark.

Jyn sighs. “I know. It’s ok.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think?


	5. And She's Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Life has been happening too fast, and then I got stuck halfway though the chapter, but it's done now! And things _actually happen _in this chapter!__

“An’ so I told him that I didn’t care where he was from, if he was going to be so stubborn. I studied Mandalore in college, so I know a thing or two.”

The togruta at the bar, Apietro, grins. Jyn clears his empty glass, rolling her eyes. “I don’t think you need to go to college to learn that. Wasn’t it what Satine was famous for in the first place?”

“Probably, but who cares? And why’d you take my glass, I’m getting a refill!”

“Nope, sorry. I’m cutting you off.”

“Aw, c’mon, Maris! I’m not  _ that _ drunk.”

“Mm, I think you are. Sorry.”

“But-”

Jyn raises an eyebrow at him as she opens a bottle of vodka to mix another round of cocktails.

“Ok, maybe I’m drunk, but it’s really not that bad. Last time was a fluke.”

She passes the tray of cocktails to Luci, rolling her eyes at Apietro, still rambling on to no one in particular that he could drink anyone under the table.

“Need me to get Cyan to deal with that one?” Luci says.

“No, he’s harmless.”

“If you say so, I guess. Kick him out soon, though. We’re closing early today.”

She disappears into the other room with the cocktails, and Jyn turns back to the sink to wash the pint glasses she’s been ignoring for the past hour, tuning out the chatter of the customers that still remain. 

“Ey, bartender?” A voice says, and she turns to see a human man she’s never seen before. 

“You heard her, we’re closing soon, so be quick about it. What can I get you?”

“No, I don’t drink! I was hoping you could help me with directions to my hotel. I can’t make heads or tails of them.”

“Oh, my husband would be better at that, I’m terrible with directions.” She looks around, but the remembers that he’s just gone to call someone a ride. “Let me see, maybe I can make sense of it.” She walks around the bar to look at his datapad, but instead of directions, there are two words.

_ Don’t scream _

“You’re going to come with me,” the man says, voice low, and she feels a blaster against her chest. 

“What is this?” She stalls, silently begging Cassian to return.

“This is nothing. You will say nothing, do nothing to call attention to yourself and follow me outside.”

“And why would I do that?”

“I know how to find your husband.”

Cassian.  _ Well, they know how to get to me. _

“But he isn’t your husband, is he?” He raises his voice to say, “Oh, that makes sense! Could you show me which way from here outside?” 

“I could break your neck outside,” she murmurs.

“Maybe, but then we’d have to kill your  _ lover _ . Lover, because he’s not your husband. But you wish he was, right? You wish Cassian was your husband?”

No. He can’t know that _. _

“That’s right. I know a lot about you. For everyone’s sake, you’d better come with me, Maris. Or, sorry,  _ Jyn _ .”

* * *

It takes Cassian approximately eight minutes after he gets back to start to panic. He asks a bar patron, careful to regulate his breathing.

“Have you seen Maris?”

“You mean she’s not - no, haven’t seen her. Is something wrong?”

He shakes his head. It won’t do to worry customers, if he doesn't know anything for sure. Stepping outside, he scans the street outside, as if she’d be hanging around out there. He pulls out Cyan’s datapad, the one that’s been carefully curated to belong to an unremarkable mid-rim dreamer, to check for messages. Nothing. 

_ Where are you? _ he writes, in case she has Maris’ datapad with her. He taps the same message on the surface of his watch, in case she’s somewhere she can decipher the morse code. After triple-checking she’s nowhere in the restaurant, he goes to Gavril. 

“Maris is gone,” he says as soon as he has his attention. “Did she say anything to you? I’ve checked the whole building, she’s gone.”

Gavril puts down the dish he’s washing.

“No, I haven’t seen her.” He walks into the family room to yell up the stairs. “Melodie, do you know where -”

“Shh! It took me forever to get Aayla settled, I don’t want to-” She stops halfway down the stairs, apparently noticing Cassian’s expression. “Oh, no. What’s happened?”

She hasn’t seen Jyn either, and Cassian is far past freaked out. 

“Should I be closing the bar?” Luci says, peeking her head in the room, “Or is Maris going to? Isn’t she back?” 

“Back from where?”

Her eyes widen at how fast he jumps on that. “She - she went outside, I think she was giving someone directions. I - I haven’t seen her since then.”

“No…” Cassian mutters, tapping the same code onto his watch again. “Kriffing…”

“Have you messaged her?” Melodie asks, and he nods.

“Yes, but she hasn’t answered, she hasn’t even read it.” Even as he speaks he sends another message, this one reading  _ you’re scaring me. _

“It’ll be ok,” Gavril says, “we can call someone, get people looking for her.”

“No,” he says. _No,_ _mierda!_ Any authority will be linked to the Empire sooner or later. He’ll have to find her herself. “No authorities, not yet. I can find her.” Coruscant seems suddenly bigger than it ever has. _Please answer_ , his next message reads. Still unread, all of them, and no response tapping on his wrist. 

“Go on.” Melodie wraps an arm around Luci, who looks like she might cry. “We’ll close up, call if you need anything.”

“Thank you,” he says, and then he’s gone. 

* * *

“Ah, look! Another message. That’s the fifth one. Looks like he’s panicking.”

Jyn growls in her throat, the only close to aggressive sound she can make with the gag her captor’s put on her. The speeder she’s been forced into is closed, only able to be locked or unlocked from the driver’s side. She gave up struggling against her binders long ago, realizing that they only tighten when she fights.

“And that ticking on your wrist, that’s him too, isn’t it. Clever, a code like that.” All she can do is glare from the passenger’s seat, still tugging at the gag with her teeth. “We’re far enough away now, aren’t we. I can get out of this stupid form.”

As she watches, his face and body change, shifting from the deceivingly friendly face. With a start, Jyn realizes her kidnapper is a clawdite. 

Her datapad beeps again, and he chuckles, putting the speeder on autopilot. Despite her attempt to squirm away, he takes it from her jacket pocket and holds her thumb against it until it opens.

“What’s this lover of yours got to say, huh? Looks to me like he’s getting desperate.  _ Where are you! You're scaring me! Please answer! _ So dramatic. It’s only been an hour! And then there’s more.  _ Tell me where to find you! _ I won’t read that last one, that one might help you. Poor Cassian, worried about his girl.”

She wants to tell him to  _ shut up, you aren’t winning, _ but not only can’t she, the reality of the situation is sinking in. With no way to contact or trace her, she has virtually no hope of rescue. Not that it will stop Cassian from trying.

“I mean, he should be worried, too. Don’t know  _ exactly  _ what these Uzol things do, but from the impression I get it’s not exactly pleasant. The headaches, I’m told, are only the tip of the iceberg. Oh - right! I was supposed to give you this a couple minutes ago.” He takes a syringe out of n interior pocket of his jacket, attaches a needle to it.  _ No. _ “Stay still. There we go.”

She fights it, but soon whatever’s in her bloodstream wins and Jyn passes out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't realize how much I relied on Jyn being snarky until she couldn't talk for 300 words. That was hard.
> 
> Next chapter is outlined, but I have several very important, time consuming things to finish, so it may be a while. Please don't hate me!


	6. Everything Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever!  
> I wasn't sure whether to include this, but my friend who read this figured better safe than sorry, so  
> \- Some terrible things happen to Jyn in the first 300 words or so, but it's not exactly... physical  
> \- Cassian's Scary Spy setting makes an appearance later on

Jyn opens her eyes, but the light that gets in feels like a knife, so she won’t be making that mistake again.

“She’s back. We have seven minutes, make it quick.”

She feels like she’s careening through space in a shot-down fighter, everything spinning around her and the unfamiliar voices distant.

“No, it should be ten minutes.”

“Trust me, I’ve been in her mind. She’ll fight harder than either of the others, and that stupid clawdite got the wrong vein with the sedative. Just hurry up.”

A hundred needles jam into her skull all at once. Jyn means to scream, but her voice isn’t under her control.

_ It will all be over soon, _ a voice in her head that isn’t her own whispers.

_ We’ll send you back to that man in no time,  _ says another,  _ though why you care so much for him, when all he does is lie to you, is a mystery we can’t fathom. _

The voices feel wrong  - an alien presence in her mind - and it  _ hurts _ . Far worse than any interrogation or torture she’s ever been prepared for, but there are no questions, no instructions. Just these things around her, light too bright to open her eyes, blades buried in her mind. 

_ Make it stop,  _ she wants to cry.  _ Cassian, where are you? _

“Still fixated on that lover.” It takes her a moment to realize that voice is real. But she didn’t… she still can’t speak, she can’t have said that out loud.

_ You’ll be alright,  _ says another voice in her head,  _ we’ll send you back to him.  _

_ He’ll find me. _

“Look at that, she’s talking back! This one’s strong.”

“Didn’t I tell you?”

_ I’m afraid he won’t. He’s already stopped looking, dear. _

No, that’s not - 

Cassian’s not -

It  _ hurts. _

“There, the antennae are in place. You can knock her out again.” Before the sentence is even finished, a syringe is against her neck. She welcomes the unconsciousness this time, escaping the knives in her brain.

* * *

The Corans have only two security cameras. They had none before he and Jyn arrived, and their alarm system was at least a decade out of date (Gavril told him, three days after their arrival, that they never meant to hire anything as frivolous as a security guard, that they were only convinced to do so by Lennon. After he learns that, Cassian’s earnings end up in Luci’s tip jar more often than not).

Neither of the cameras point right at the bar, and the angle is much less than ideal. In the recording, though, Cassian does manage to catch a glimpse of a blaster to Jyn’s side and a straight-on image of her… kidnapper, even if it only lasts a fraction of a second. It’ll be enough.

He wishes he could slice into the street surveillance (Jyn could do it, he’s certain), but he’s not nearly that skilled. He does manage to get into police records, and to find the man he’s looking for.

“I might have an idea where to find her,” he tells Melodie, “But I would need some time,”

Really, he doesn’t care about their permission. If he didn’t think Corans would immediately agree to his looking for her, he wouldn’t bother asking. But he knows they’ll encourage him, too kind for their own good, and so he asks for the sake of keeping up appearances.

“Yes, of course, go! Is there any way we can help you?”

“I don’t think so, but I’ll let you know if there is.”

He makes a stop back at the ship, both to tell Kay what’s happened and to gather his weapons - an extra knife in his belt to go along with the one he wears daily in his boot, and his blaster in the thigh holster. After a minute’s consideration he slips Jyn’s truncheons into his jacket. If -  _ when _ , he corrects himself - he finds her, there’s a good chance she’ll need them. 

“I should come with you,” Kay says.

“You know we can’t do that. We’re too close to the Imperial Palace, someone would ask questions.” As much as Cassian would like to have his best friend with him, it wouldn’t work. “I’ll let you know as soon as I know anything. I will find her, Kay.”

He will, he will, he  _ has _ to.

He catches a train, getting off six blocks away, and goes down a level. The bar he ends up in has a similar layout to  _ La Mer Resistante,  _ but the similarities end there. It’s loud, and hectic, and smoke hangs heavy in the air.

Cassian takes a seat the bar in a dark corner, flags the bartender over and orders a Corellian whiskey. When the man comes back with it, he leans over the counter.

“I’m looking for someone,” he says, “And I was hoping you could help me.”

“Well that depends who you’re looking for, doesn’t it?”

“It does,” he agrees, “But I think you can.” He pulls the image from the security camera up on his datapad. There’s always a chance this will be easy. “You know this man?”

He sees the flash of recognition in the bartender’s eyes, and he already knows they’re associates. so when he shakes his head, saying, “Sorry, can’t help you there,” his patience frays just a little further.

“No, I think you can.” He glares across the bar, voice is low and dangerous. “You know him. You know where I could find him.”

“Listen, Buddy, I don’t know anything. You’d better go, or I’ll have to-”

Cassian has him by the collar and a knife to his throat before he can finish the sentence. “Who is he?”

“His name’s Maxon Kormak, but I swear that’s all I know!”

Cassian presses the blade closer. “That man took my partner, and I will stop at  _ nothing  _ to get her back.”  He sweeps his eyes around the room, and once he sees no one’s paying attention, he leans closer to stare into the bartender’s wide eyes. “If you refuse to tell me the truth, I  _ will _ kill you. Do I make myself clear?”

“He’s three blocks away,” the man gasps, “Building 83489, apartment 17.”

“And he is at home?”

“Yes, he should be, I swear that’s all I can tell you!”

It’s not, but Cassian doesn’t have the time to deal with him. He releases his collar. “If you’re lying…”

“I’m not, I swear I’m not.”

Cassian turns and walks away without another word, disappearing into the shadows outside, playing the conversation over in his head. 83489 should be north, so he starts walking. He’s a block and a half away when his comm sounds, and he almost drops it in his haste to answer it, because  _ Jyn, it could be Jyn. _

As it turns out, it’s only the Corans.

“Hello? Have you-”

“She’s here,” Luci says.

“What?”

“Maris, she’s here! She just showed up at the door, Mum’s with her now.”

A wave of relief goes through him. She’s ok, she’s back. Cassian turns in the street, breaking into a run back to the train station. “Did she say where she was?” There’s a pause. “Luci, where was she?”  
“Well she’s - she’s unconscious.”

_ No, nonononono... _ “I’ll be right there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Not the kind of thing I usually write, but I'd love to hear what you thought.


	7. Let Me Help

Cassian’s out of breath by the time he gets back to the restaurant, and he doesn’t greet Melodie at the door.

“Where’s Maris?”

“Upstairs, Luci’s with her.”

He runs up the stairs to the Corans’ guest room. Luci sits, knitting, beside Jyn. Cassian’s breath catches at the sight of her - she’s terrifyingly pale, and when he sits on the edge of her bed her hand is clammy in his.

“Querida,” he murmurs, “Oh, mi amor, what’s happened to you?”

“Do you know where she could have been?” Luci asks, and he looks up.

“I don’t. Can you tell me how she got here?”

“We don’t know. Somebody opened the door. I heard the bell, but there was no one there when I came out of the kitchen - Just Maris on the floor, with a note pinned to her vest. Actually, Cyan, we need to talk about that note.”

“Why? What does it say?”

“It says ‘have your lover back, rebel’. Nothing else. It’s on the table. Do you know why it would say that? Could Maris be hiding something?”

Kriff.  _ Kriff, _ they’ve been compromised. “No, I… I have no idea.” He needs to contact the Alliance, he needs to call Kay, he needs to -

Jyn stirs, shifting uncomfortably, and his attention is fully on her, Her breath hitches, eyes clenched shut, and she whimpers. For a moment, he struggles - while he doesn’t want to compromise them further by confirming to Luci that their identities are false, he desperately wants to say her name, to comfort her as Jyn, not Maris. Then she whispers, “Cassian,” voice hoarse, and the decision gets a lot easier.

“Who’s Cassian?” Luci asks. Cassian stands and turns toward her.

“I need to you to promise me you won’t breathe a word of this to  _ anyone _ . Not your parents, not your sisters, it doesn’t leave this room. Do you understand?”

“I understand, I promise.”

“Cassian?” Jyn whimpers again, and he sits on the edge of her bed and gathers her into his arms.

“Shh, sh, it’s ok. I’m right here. You’re safe.” He strokes her hair, rocking her gently. 

“Cassian,” She sobs, opening her eyes for a second before she shuts them tight again.

“What’s wrong?”  He whispers. She shakes her head. “You’re in pain, Jyn, tell me what happened. Can you do that?” She shakes her head again, trembling as she cries into his shirt.    

“At least tell me what hurts.”

“Dizzy,” she says, and her voice is too small. Cassian stops swaying, realizing it can’t be helping if she’s dizzy.  “And my head hurts.” 

“Scale of one to ten?”

“Ten.”     

“Oh,  _ Jyn _ ! Did you hit your head on something?”

“I… I don’t think so…”

“Lie down. Are you cold?” She nods, and he lays her on her back, pulling the covers over her. “Open your eyes, Jyn. I need to see them.”

“No, it hurts...”

“What does?”

“The light.”

Cassian adds light sensitivity to his mental list of worrying symptoms and moves to hover over her, glancing back at where Luci hovers outside the door. “Can you get the light?” She does, and Cassian turns on the lamp by the bed. “C’mon, love. Look at me. Light’s out.”

She finally does, though he can tell it hurts her. “There’s a good girl.” Nothing seems wrong with her eyes; they focus the way they should, but she shuts them again the moment he tells her she can. He moves to get up, but she protests.

“Please don’t go!”

“I’ll be right back,” he promises, heart shattering. “You can go,” he tells Luci, who’s still standing in the hall just outside the door, shifting her weight uncomfortably.

“Mama said I should stay here in case you needed anything, since she has to be serving breakfast.”

“It’s ok, I’ve got her. If you have a med scanner anywhere, that would be nice, but otherwise I don’t think anything else will help.”

“I’ll go look.”

Cassian takes off his jacket, stripping himself of his weapons and piling them under it - easily within reach in case of a emergency, but hidden should any the Corans come looking - before he lies down on top of the blanket. Jyn’s crying again, curled into herself, and Cassian’s never felt more helpless. He’s never seen her so miserable, and without knowing what’s wrong he has no way to make it better.

“Hey,” he whispers, “Can I do anything for you?”

She says nothing for a moment, and he’s about to ask another question when she jolts suddenly, crying out, “That’s not true!”

“What?”

“He’s not, you’re lying!”

“Jyn! What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

She shudders, quieting. Cautiously, he tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, searching her face. “What was that? Can you tell me?”

“No, I- I don’t know!” She sobs. 

“Shhh, sh, it’s ok.” Keeping an eye on her expression for any hint that she might be uncomfortable with it, he wraps an arm around her, rubbing up and down her back. “You’re going to be ok. We’ll figure out what’s wrong.” He strokes her hair, lying in silence beside her.

Luci returns a short time later with an ancient looking med scanner. Cassian sits Jyn up and runs it over her, but there’s nothing around her head. No concussion, not even a bump. It does beep, though, when he sweeps it further down. Upon further inspection, he finds the dicolouration of an injection just above her collarbone. She flinches away from his touch when he goes to trace the mark. “Jyn, what was this?”

“Sedative.”

“Sedative? How long were you out? Do you know?” 

She doesn’t. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, hiding her face in his shirt.

“Nothing to be sorry for. None of this is your fault.” He holds her to him for a second, then helps her to lie down again. “Thank you, Luci. That’s all.”

“Mama wanted to know if you’d like breakfast?”

“No, thank you. She needs to sleep, I think.” He’s only just realized how long they’ve both been awake, aside from Jyn’s unknown stint of unconciousness. Luci leaves again, and Cassian closes the door, finally allowing them a bit of privacy.

“Can you try to describe how it feels?” He crawls under the covers with her, and she curls into a ball within the circle of his arms. “You can sleep soon, just give it a try.”

“They put needles in my head. Lots and lots of needles.”

“Who’s they?”

“The creatures. They - _ahh…”_ She brings both hands her to her head with a sob.

“Jyn?”

“They won’t… they won’t let me tell you,” she whimpers, voice shaky.

“Jyn,  _ sweetheart,  _ tell me what’s happening, please!”

“I - I can’t. They’re in my head, Cass, I can’t -”

“It’s ok,” he says, trying desperately to calm her, “It’s ok, we can try to figure this out later. You must be tired. Just relax, try and get to sleep. I’ll be right here.”

“Promise?” And he hates it, hates how weak she sounds.

“Promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had trouble with this chapter, but I finished it, so yay. This is only half of what was supposed to happen according to my outline for this chapter, but I'm going with it.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it, Tell me what you thought!


	8. Fighting Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So somehow I thought that I had already posted this chapter, like last week? It's been done for a while, I just forgot it wasn't up.

When Jyn wakes up and indeterminable amount of time later, Cassian’s sitting on the bed beside her, datapad in hand. Her head still hurts, but when she opens her eyes the light from the device no longer feels like a knife.

“Cass?” She says, and he puts the datapad aside to gaze down at her.

“Hey,” he murmurs,” How are you feeling?”

“Like shavit. Still hurts.”

“One to ten?”

“Six.”

“Well, that’s an improvement, at least.” He helps her to sit up and gives her a glass of water from the table beside the bed.

“Where are we?”

“The Corans’ spare room. You slept for about four hours. It’s eleven now.”

“At night?”

“No, in the morning. C’mere.” He pulls her into his lap. “You gave me quite the scare, you know. Can you tell me what happened now?”

Bits and pieces of the previous night are returning to her, and now Jyn can remember the table, the needles in her head, the voices.

_ Don’t tell him, _ one says, even now,  _  He wouldn’t believe you, anyway.  _ It does seem far-fetched.

“Have you talked to Kay?” She asks instead.

“I’ve spoken to him, yes. He’s very glad you’re ok. Jyn, why won’t you talk to me?”

_ He’ll hurt you if you tell him,  _  a voice whispers. But he wouldn’t, Cassian would never hurt her.

“I… I can’t.”

“What do you mean, can’t? You said that earlier. You know you can tell me anything. Why can’t you tell me what’s wrong? I want to help you.”

_ He’s lying. _

“There’s – there’re voices, Cassi,” she whimpers, because he’s not lying, he can’t be lying, he wants to help her, “Voices in my head.”

“What? Jyn, what voices?”

_ DON”T TELL HIM  _ a voice screams.  _ HE”LL HURT YOU  _ screams another. Each one is a spike in her skull, and she cries out, clutching her head in her hands. 

“No, no, he won’t, that’s not true.” She murmurs, hiding her face in his shirt.

“Please tell me what’s wrong! Look at me.” 

She does, cautiously. She hates how much she’s worrying him.

“I love you. Please remember that.”

_ He’s lying. _

“He’s NOT!” She cries aloud. Cassian startles, but his only reaction is to kiss her hair, tightening his arms around her.

“I don’t know what’s happening, love, but I’m here. Ok? You figure out how to tell me, I’m  _ right here _ .”

She melts into him, grateful, and the two of them remain entwined like that, Cassian murmuring that he loves her, that’s he’s with her, that he wants to help for a long time before he quiets and simply holds her.

 

A quarter of an hour later, there’s a knock on the door, and Cassian barely has a chance to disentangle himself from Jyn before Melodie opens it and steps into the room. Her friendly demeanor is gone, replaced by a stony-faced neutrality. Quite honestly, Jyn’s a little frightened. He stands, taking a step away from the bed and positioning himself in front of Jyn. “Is it-”

“SIt down.”

He does, with an air of resignation that worries her, pulling her back to him. She goes willingly enough. 

“Luci’s just been to talk to me. And before you say anything, I want you to understand how unhappy I am with you. She refuses to tell me what’s happened, but she did say that whatever it is, you made her promise not to tell. Luckily enough, I have a feeling I know already what this is, but if in the future this applies, you NEVER tell my girls to keep secrets. And I’m done with your keeping secrets, so we’re going to have a talk.”

“What is it you’d like to know?” 

“Start with your real names, and we’ll go from there.”

Jyn’s eyes widen, and she looks up at Cassian. His expression tells her this isn’t a surprise. So they’ve been compromised. Glancing back at her, he says, “My name is Cassian. This is Jyn.”

Absurdly, a tiny part of her is ashamed, realizing that she’s in a terrible state for real introductions, but that’s the least of their problems right now.

Melodie crosses her arms. “You are not Cyan and Maris Justress. You are not saving for a home. You did not meet on a trip to Alderaan, and, I imagine, you aren’t even married.”

“Not ye- no, we’re not.” He looks away from both of them for a moment.

“Now I want you to tell me something else,  _ Cassian _ . Are you, or are you not, a rebel?”

“I-”

“Yes, or no.”

He looks down at Jyn, brushes a lock of hair behind her ear. “Yes.”

“And you? Jane, or whatever he said your name was?”

“Jyn. I… I am.”

Smoothing a hand over her hair, Melodie sighs. “And Lennon? Was he… Never mind, it doesn’t matter.. I don’t… You have to understand I don’t know what to do here. I really should report you to the Imperials, that’s what would be best.”

“If that’s what you have to do, we understand. I promise you, though,  it was never supposed to happen like this.”

“So I assumed. That’s one of the only things keeping me from calling the Empire this second. Right now, how much danger would you say my family is in?”

Jyn looks at him, curious herself, but Cassian only shakes his head. “I don’t know. I’m sorry. We can go now.” He looks at Jyn. “Could you get back to the ship with just me as support, do you think, or do you want me to call Kay?”

“Can… can you, please?” It goes against everyone of her instincts - to admit her weakness, to cause a fuss, to inconvenience everyone - but she seriously doubts her own ability to even walk in a straight line, much less all the way to the ship. And they both know his back won’t allow him to support her that much that far.

_ Why should he bother?  _ A voice snarls, accompanied by a flash of pain.  _ Helpless, pathetic girl. _ She winces and shakes it away.

“Of course, love.” He opens the datapad again, opening a channel to the ship. K2’s voice comes through immediately, before Cassian even has a chance to say a word.

“I’ve found you a lead.”

“What?”

“I’ve come into contact with a local resistance cell. They’ve described a phenomena they’ve seen recently, describing exactly Jyn’s symptoms, and they might know how to fix it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think!


	9. Rebels from Everywhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is shorter than I hoped, but I leave tomorrow for 2 weeks in the middle of nowhere and then another week in semi nowhere, so here we are.
> 
> Also, sorry it took forever, life's insane (also I blame Imsfire)!

Cassian’s functioning on mostly stims and fear by the time they sit across from a silent green twi’lek in yet another shady bar. Jyn even more so - leaning into his side, eyes screwed shut against the flashing lights, he’s pretty sure she’s only conscious thanks to the combination of standard stims, adrenaline and stabilizers Kay mixed up for her.

A tiny being, a species he’s never seen before, settles next to the twi’lek across from them. 

“Nice to meet you,” they say, holding a hand out to shake, “I understand you’ve had a run-in with an Uzol?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Exactly what I said, but I guess you wouldn’t know. It’s her?” They gesture toward Jyn with a three-fingered hand. 

“It is.”

“She has the look about her. So tell me if this sounds familiar. Somebody shows up asking for help - a clawdite, so any tracking is useless - and then she goes missing. Not for long, just enough time to start to panic. Then she shows up again, unconscious, and when she wakes up she’s miserable. Headaches, dizziness, light sensitivity, the whole deal. Lots of crying about something in her head. But- and this is the real determiner - she doesn’t tell you anything.”

“That’s… yes, exactly.”

“And then there’s the other stuff.” They gesture at the twi’lek, who sits up straighter. “Gail?”

“I - um, I had them in my head, a little while ago. It’s like… it’s a nightmare, the voices in your head aren’t yours. They’re… very persuasive. They made me believe that my best friend would die, that it would be my fault. We don’t know, exactly, what else they can do. This was before I joined the - this organization, so I had no idea what to do.”

Jyn whimpers suddenly, hiding her face in his neck.

“Jyn? What’s happening?”

She doesn’t answer, but she’s shaking again.

“This is interesting,” the being says.

“What is? Jyn, love, talk to me.” She only sucks in a shaky breath before going back to her uneven shallow breathing.

“She can’t. Like Gail just said, voices. They’re hurting her to keep us from helping you.”

Trying to be comforting, he goes to wrap an arm around her, but she flinches away, murmuring, “No, that’s not - no!” She shifts away from him, and soon her breath begins to even out, her eyes shut. When she quiets again he reaches cautiously to lay a hand on her back. She tenses, but only for a moment before she takes a deep breath and glances back at him.

“I’m sorry,” she says softly, “Just ignore me.”

“I can’t ignore you when you’re in pain.”

“You have to,” the being says, the same one who was fascinated by her pain; Cassian isn’t especially partial to them. “If you want to help her, you need to know what we can tell you.”

He runs a hand through his hair. Logically, he knows there’s no other option. That doesn’t mean he has to like it. He sighs. “C’mere.” He reaches toward Jyn, pulling her back against his side. “Pinch me if it gets too bad.”

She doesn’t. Gail and the other being, who refuses ot give a name when he asks, continue talking, and Cassian does his best to absorb the information he can, distracted by the way Jyn shakes under his arm. It’s a good thing Kay is recording this conversation remotely (not that the other two know it) because none of this is registering. Not when she’s trying to push away, struggling weakly against him. He does manage to catch words like pyrexia, dissociation and self-destruction and  _ kriff,  _ he didn’t think this could get any worse but with words like that…

“I get it,” he says when the list of eventual symptoms has been going a little too long, “This is bad. I already knew that, but what can I do to help her?”

“So…” they shift in their seat. “Here’s the thing. With Gail, she disappeared again and when she came back she was better. So far as we know,  _ you _ can’t do anything.” And that’s just wonderful, if this entire set up was for nothing that means that they’re right where they started. “But we have an idea of who can.”

 

That’s how he finds himself in the area directly under the Imperial palace barely an hour later, Jyn following behind.

“She’s flagging,” He murmurs into the comm, “Kay, I don’t know how much farther I can take her.”

“That is unfortunate, as you have to take her.” Kay’s voice in his ear seems far to loud in contrast with the almost-silence around them.

According to the Coruscanti rebels (Ysaac, the one being finally identified themself as), whispers of something new happening in the palace started a month ago, just before the disappearances. Once he knew what to look for, similar cases popped up everywhere in Kay’s search. Missing persons reported and then withdrawn within the day, hospital and clinic visits under the same names. A few days later, another temporary disappearance, and then nothing.

“C’mon, querida. A little farther.”

They’re on their way to a nothing little corner of an apparently unimportant wing, where there might  _ possibly _ be whatever it is in Jyn’s head, where  _ maybe _ they can figure out how to fix it, if they’re  _ very lucky. _

(“Rebellions are built on hope,” Jyn murmured when they planned this, her tentative smile feeble, “Right?”)

Hope, that’s all they have. Hope that they find what they need. Hope that they don’t get caught.  _ Hope _ that Jyn can get better at all. Because there’s no other option.

He turns to see she’s stopped, leaning against the wall and panting, eyes shut. As far as he can tell, she’s been in pain since they left. He isn’t sure if whatever’s in her head can see her surroundings, though he’s hoping desperately not because if they can this might all be for nothing. With a glance back toward where he was walking he turns to go to her.

“Hey, look at me.”

She shakes her head. “Just give me a second.”

“Jyn…” He kisses her forehead, and then lingers for a second, because -  _ kriff. _ “You’re burning up!”

“What?”

“Ysaac said fever, didn’t they? Ok... Come on, we need to keep going.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said before, I'm leaving tomorrow and gone for several weeks, so the next update might be a while, sorry.  
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter, let me know what you think!


	10. He's Lying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was supposed to be ten chapters but it's gotten away from me so honestly I'm not even sure. I'm aiming for twelve or thirteen now, and I'm hoping to have this finished by October, but I am SOOOOO SLOOOOOW. Thanks to anyone who's still reading, we'll get to the end eventually!

“Ok. Jyn, querida, you trust me,” Cassian says, pulling her out of the flow of people a few minutes later, and Jyn’s heart sinks. Nothing good can come after a sentence like that. 

“I do.”

_He’ll hurt you_ , a voice whispers but she trusts him, she does!

“Focus, look - no - look at me, Jyn.” She forces herself to do so, trying her best to push through the fog around her head. “That’s it, good. I need to give you another dose of the stabilizer. I have a fever reducer, too.”

Panic is her immediate reaction, though she tries desperately to push it away.

“N – no, I’m fine, I just… I need…”

“You’re not fine. You’re nowhere near fine!” He takes the injection from his bag, and she withdraws from him, starting walking again. Reaching out far too fast for her comfort, he grabs her forearm and pulls her back. “I’m sorry, Jyn, I really am. But you know you need it.”

She starts to tremble. _He’s trying to hurt you!_ The same voice screams.

“No,” she whimpers. “No, let go of me!”

He does, instantly, and then she’s backing away again. This is ridiculous. The logical part of her brain is still loud enough to tell he that. She needs the injection, and this is Cassian. 

“Relax,” he murmurs, “I want to help you.”

_ He’s lying. _

“No,” she sobs, shrugging off the hand he tries to rest, comforting, on her shoulder. She has to squeeze her eyes shut, for a moment, in an attempt to fight the sudden wave of dizziness.

“Jyn. Love. Whatever those voices are telling you right now, it’s not true. Do you understand?”

_He would say that,_ one voice says. _Anything to make you believe he cares_ , another adds.

“Tell me you understand.” He grabs her arm again as she tries to move away. She wrenches herself out of his grip before _He’ll hurt you_ is finished echoing in her head.

“Don’t touch me!”

Several people turn to look at them, but no one tries to intervene.

Cassian stares at her for a moment, and then drops his hand. “Ok,” he whispers, shaking his head. “I can’t do this. Just keep up.” He turns with barely a glance and strides away, muttering something she can’t quite hear into his earpiece.

_Good job_ , a voice hisses, _You’ve protected yourself_. But as she follows behind Cassian, head pounding, all she feels is shame.

 

-

 

 “What do I do, Kay? She won’t let me touch her, but I know she needs it.” Cassian glances back at Jyn. She’s gotten steadily worse in the few minutes since his failed attempt at helping, stumbling more than she’s walking. Even if his heart is aching for her, he doesn’t reach back to help.

“You will have to overpower her, then.”

“I can’t do that!”

“Perhaps not usually, but she has been becoming steadily weaker. You could subdue her reasonably quickly.”

“Kay, how could you – Of course not! She trusts me!”

“So it will be easier, then.”

Cassian doesn’t answer that, only shaking his head as if Kay can see him as he continues to trudge, turning to assure that Jyn is still there. He keeps an anxious eye on her, and he’s distracted enough to ignore the subtle feeling in the pit of him stomach. 

By the time he recognizes something’s off, it’s too late. When he turns to check on Jyn for the fifth time in two minutes, wishing desperately she was still by his side, he realizes he’s let her fall too far behind. There are multiple beings filling the few meters between them, and then he sees the two that come up on either side of her, each taking one of her arms. Mercenaries.

“Jyn!” He cries, in the moment before there’s a hand on each of his arms and one covering his mouth.

“This is the one,” one of them says, while the other kicks the back of his legs, His knees buckle and he falls to the ground, but he never stops struggling.

Jyn does.

She’s silent without a hand over her mouth, still standing, completely still. Docile.

Before he can realize what’s happening there are shackles on his wrists and a band of rough material over his eyes. He’s being dragged back upright and pushed into what he has to assume is the back of a speeder.

“Come along, Ms. Erso. We won’t keep you long.”

He hears this, but still no struggle. He realizes, with a cold certainty, that whoever has them has to be affiliated with whatever’s in Jyn’s head. That’s the only answer that makes sense, that explains why she remains cooperative.

 

-

 

When the material over his eyes is removed, Cassian finds himself shackled to a hook on the wall in an otherwise empty room. Otherwise empty, but one of the walls is glass, through which he can see a group of beings crowded around something. They part, to let someone else through, and he catches a look at what they surround.

Jyn.

She’s unconscious, or asleep, or – no, he can’t consider the third option, and there’s an IV in her arm.

“Jyn!” He shouts, tugging on the shackles but to no avail. Suddenly a speaker in the corner jumps to life with a low crackling sound, and he can hear the going-ons in the next room. 

“Experiment 483D is unsuccessful, then. 3711 is still unresponsive. You may replace the antenna.”

“I imagine you’ve forgotten,” a voice says, calling Cassin’s attention to a far corner, “That you promised to have all your ‘experiments’ over with before you caught a rebel?”

“And we might have, if you had let us keep any of those civilians for long enough to perform them. But as it is, we will not harm her.”

A door behind Cassian slides open and a human woman steps into the room with him. He turns.

“Good day. It’s Cassian?”

He doesn’t answer. 

“You don’t have to say anything, I suppose. The Uzol got most of it from her head. Now, Cassian. You are an intelligence agent for the rebellion. Captain Andor.”

As she’s speaking he hears a cry from the other room and whips around,

“She’s awake!” One of the beings says.

“Is the antenna in place?” 

“Yes, but it hasn’t been fully activated yet, our control is slipping!”

“Jyn!” Cassian shouts, pulling instinctively against his cuffs.

“She can’t hear you,” the woman says, “And I suppose this might be easier if you couldn’t hear her.”

The sound from the speaker dies. The glass fogs over, hiding Jyn from his view.

This is... not good.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't supposed to be such a cliffhanger, but I'll be away for the rest of the week so I wanted to get this up.  
> Thoughts? Let me know!


	11. Caught

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for all the impossibilities and cheesyness. Just accept it.

Jyn wakes up in pain. Her head feels split open again, but something feels different. The alien presence she’d become so used to is gone - No, it’s still there, but it’s smaller. Weaker.

_ Jyn, dearie, you have to let us in.  _

It’s one of the voices she’s become so accustomed to, but as if it’s shouting from a great distance. The confusing certainty that the voice can be trusted is slipping, as well.

“No!” She says this out loud, at lest she thinks she does, and she’s vaguely aware of audible voices around her.

“She’s awake!” One says.

_ We can keep you safe. Your alliance can’t do that. Your lover can’t do that. _

She remembers the desperation in Cassian’s eyes in the street. 

_ Whatever those voices are telling you, it’s not true. _

_ Let us back in, Jyn. Cassian doesn’t know what’s best for you _

_ I don’t know what’s happening, love, but I’m here. Ok? You figure out how to tell me, I’m right here. _

Slowly she starts to recognize bits and pieces of her surroundings, returning slowly to awareness. Her arms and legs are secured to the same sort of table as before. The incessant pain in her head has returned so that she’s afraid to open her eyes but not so bad as it was when she first woke up at the Corans’

_ Let us in so the pain can stop. We can make it better. _

_ I love you more than anything in this entire galaxy. You got that? _

_ Trust us. _

“Get  _ out _ !” She shouts – or tries to shout, it could have been only a whisper for all she could tell.

“She’s fighting.”

“Try harder, then, we need to get in!”

“Can we sedate her again?”

“Not safely. Our best chance is persuasion.”

“Well  _ persuasion  _ isn’t working!”

The friendly voices in her head sound so much harsher, so much crueler in real life, and everything hurts, and she wants to cry. Cassian, where’s Cassian?

_ Relax, poor dear.  _

_                        No, that’s not right. _

_ We’re here to help! _

_                       Get out. _

_ Don’t you trust us, Jyn? We can help you! _

                     Get out of my head.

-

A door he didn’t notice opens in the wall that was glass and one of the beings darts into the room. It’s quiet in the other room - a low murmur from only a few voices - but he can’t see through the doorway.

“She woke up and pushed us out, papa doesn’t know if we can get back into her head,” the being says, breathing heavily before they return to the other room and the door shuts again, leaving Cassian and the woman in an empty room again.

“Don’t get your hopes up, “ she says, “She’ll exhaust herself fighting and they’ll get the antennae back in anyway.”

But she doesn’t sound sure, and Cassian does get his hopes up.

_ C’mon, Jyn. You’re strong enough. _

“Here’s the thing, Cassian. Can I call you Cassian? I’m going to. We’ve gotten a lot of things out of your partner’s head. Where she was stationed before this mission, how the two of you met, but there’s something else. She knows that the Rebellion was moving bases while you’re here. But she doesn’t know where. You do.”

Cassian says nothing,

“I’m sure you can guess my offer. You tell me the system – you don’t even have to tell me the planet, just the system – and I let Jyn go. You can both get off planet, easy as that.”

He’s not stupid, and she knows it. But he doesn’t know what her real plan is, so Cassian remains silent.

“She really loves you, you know. She was so sure you were coming to rescue her, the first time. I can’t imagine her disappointment when you didn’t.” 

He stares at the wall behind her head, keeping his expression neutral, passive.

“She wasn’t this time. She begged for you, I’m told, but there was none of that defiant  _ he’ll find me  _ nonsense.”

_She’s_ _so strong,_ he reminds himself.  _ She’ll be fine.  _ He can beg for her forgiveness when he finds them a way out.

If he finds a way out.

He’s already signaled Kay with all the information he has. He’s running out of confidence. Running out of ideas.

“The poor dear. It must take a lot of guts to keep believing you love her with the time she’s having. Do you love her? Really?”

The chance is so slim it’s pathetic. They probably took her watch (but they didn’t take his!) and the transmission might be blocked (but the one to Kay wasn’t!) and she might not even be conscious or able to understand (but she’s fighting, she could be!).

Positioning his hands in the binders behind his back, he can just reach the button to begin a transmission. 

Out loud, he says, “Of course I love her.” He repeats his message, over and over and over again, even as the woman keeps talking.

“This must be hard for you. Knowing she’s there and you could help her, letting her believe you don’t care.”

She’s trying to get in his head. That’s all this is. He can spend hours caring for Jyn; prove to her just how much he loves her. Just as soon as they get out. 

Even as he reasons with himself he switches the phrase he taps into his wrist. She’s going to be ok. She has to be ok.

-

Jyn hasn’t heard the voices in her head since she fought them away, but she can feel their presence just outside her consciousness. There are needles pricking at her brain again. Now that she knows what they bring with them she’s struggling, so far successfully, to keep them out, but she doesn’t know how long she can keep her guard up.

With everything happening around her, she doesn’t notice the tapping from the underside if her watch at first. When it does register, she has no idea how long the message on her arm has been going.

..-. .. --. .... - / .. -/..-. .. --. .... - / .. -/..-. .. --. .... - / .. -/..-. .. --. .... - / .. -/

Since most of her focus is on keeping the presence out, it takes several repetitions before she understands, but when she does a rush of warmth comes over her.  _ Fight it. Fight it. Fight it. _

Wherever Cassian is, he’s ok. He’s out there. She’s going to be ok. She can do this. She can keep them out.

The rhythm changes, a minute or so later, and after a few repetitions she manages to understand.

.-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..-/.-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..-/.-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..-/.-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..-/

_ Love you. Love you. Love you. _

Breath in, breath out. She can do this. He’s going to find her.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... yeah... This was supposed to end with the introduction of the next big event but I didn't want to leave it on a huge cliffhanger. 
> 
> I know where I want to go/how I want to end this, but I'm working at a snail's pace right now, so I think it'll be at least a couple weeks, especially since I'm trying to get part two of My Dear Miss Erso up and tentatively planning a Christmas fic.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> Updates may be erratic, but they will happen.
> 
> This whole thing is loosely inspired by: The series finale of Chuck, that weird action movie Chris Evans was in in 2009, Push (I watched it for a high school film class), and about a million other things.
> 
> Come yell at me on [Tumblr](https://sadieandor.tumblr.com)!


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